Our brains are wired to focus on one bad thing, rather than the abundance of good things. When something goes wrong, it’s natural for us to direct our attention to focus on only that thing. Reminding ourselves of the good we also have going on can help us overcome the situation and cope when we’re angry at ourselves for a mistake.
Mentoring at-risk youth is important because when they make a mistake, it’s harder for them to think rationally due to everything else going on in their life. Their home life may be difficult, they might not get to see both parents or their siblings all the time and, when they make a mistake, it just adds to the list of things they’re already going through. Here’s how we can help them and ourselves when we’re angry at ourselves.
Remember you’re human
It’s hard to appreciate the sun without cloudy days. Humans are imperfect and we all make mistakes. Knowing that you’re not alone in making mistakes can help you feel a bit better about whatever happened. It can be hard to believe that everything happens for a reason when our current situation might be tough, but keep your head up and open your eyes to something you might learn.
Get it off your chest and out of your head
Our harshest critic is often ourselves, and we can make the situation ten times worse by thinking about it over and over. Get it out. Having someone there to talk through it with can help you process what’s going on without overthinking it. We all need somebody to lean on, and we become our own worst critic when we avoid talking it through with someone else and continue to try and process it ourselves.
Learn from your mistakes
This might just be the push you need to start getting it right. What can you do moving forward now? Have there been things you needed to do that you will do now because of this mistake? You might not be able to see the sun in a cloudy moment, but over time the clouds will move out of the way and all will become clearer.
Practice ways to relax
Breathing techniques, yoga, meditation and self-care are all forms of relaxation. Quieting your mind, body and soul can help you feel a sense of calmness despite everything going on. Clean up a little bit, take a shower, watch your favorite movie, listen to your favorite album, dance alone in your room or color in a coloring book… just find something you like doing and do it.
Forgive yourself
You will not recover completely until you're at peace with yourself and your battles. You may find yourself thinking about all the “what ifs” and wishing you could go back in time and change the way things happened. The fact is you cannot change the way things were. You have to accept what has happened and the way in which they did. Once you do that, you can start thinking more positively and you’ll be back on the right track.
The need for mentoring at-risk youth
DREAM is always looking for people to help in mentoring at-risk youth. We want volunteers from all different backgrounds and aspects of life. Our differences are what make us strong. It takes a community of unique people to make a difference in the lives of our youth. Contact us today to join our team!
